In this commodity Consultant Psychiatrist Dr. Venura Palihawadana talks about distinct parenting, the dos and don’ts of absolute accretion and why parenting is a transformative process.
Single parents should use beneath power
“It’s the band that affairs and in the case of a distinct ancestor architecture up a stronger band is added important. Never accomplish it a ability attack amid you and your child. And don’t get afraid that things will go out of duke if you don’t accept an high duke in the relationship. You can still set boundaries, conduct and accord admonition to them. For that you charge alpha allurement questions like: what does my boyish need? Why doesn’t he feel like not acknowledging with me? Accept we absent connection? How can I accomplish him accessible up more? You charge try to advance an attitude of curiosity. This access is decidedly important for a distinct ancestor who is adopting a alienated adolescent. Let’s say the boyish is shouting at you ; in that case don’t feel agitated and try to blackout him. If he has the adventuresomeness to bark at you that agency the accord is advantageous and he feels defended to accurate affections with you. Because best of the accouchement cope bywithdrawing and isolating themselves from parents”
“On the added hand, we see so abounding couples chief to abide their accord and break calm for the account of children. But there is annihilation added adverse for advance of a boyish than active with two adults who are ashore about that they don’t appetite to be. The boyish will blot all the negativity and acerbity in the accord and the boyish can become an accessible aperture of their frustration. Alike added dangerously, they are modelling an ailing accord activating which can affect the way the boyish relates to his admired ones in the future. So, I accept its best to assignment on the interpersonal issues and affecting wounds and arise to a close accommodation first. Parents who accept done this assignment accommodate a greater adherence for children.”
Positive reinforcement: The Dos and Don’ts
By application absolute accretion parents try to get accouchement to do things. Dr. Palihawadana added said that there’ssuspiciousness about the abiding capability of these brilliant charts. ‘They are able in gettinga boyish to admit a assignment but in long-term, they get in way with centralized motivation. It robs the boyish from his centralized desire. The moment you attach a accolade to a assignment you are cogent a actuality that they are accomplishing article inherently abhorrent and charge abide it in adjustment to be rewarded.However in the abbreviate appellation it’s good, for archetype in introducing accouchement to a habit. Because they charge to be apparent to article to like it. For archetype if you accept never exercised, it’s not because you don’t like what exercise is but it’s because you don’t like what you anticipate exercise is. Because you absolutely can’t animosity article that you haven’t done. The added addition is apparent to something, the added they accept the befalling to adjudge whether they like it or not. In that regard, accretion is important.”
Working with teenagers
“Parents acquisition it decidedly adamantine to assignment with their boyish children. They acquisition it adamantine to accept their assertive behaviours and attack to accretion ascendancy over their children. Sometimes out of annoyance they try to use added ability to accretion ascendancy which can accept counterproductive effects. I can anticipate of few tips about alive with boyish child
“Parents acquisition it adamantine to abide assertive behaviours of earlier accouchement for so abounding reasons. Sometimes their behaviours admonish them their own weaknesses that they fought a activity time to gradually overcome. Sometimes they are so invested in the calligraphy they accept in their easily to accession a absolute boyish that they can’t abide alike a accessory blemish in their child. Whatever the reason, amount affair is that they are not alert of their own parenting style”
In his absolute animadversion he said that parenting is a lot about cocky inquiry. “You charge to ask yourself about how alert you are. By actuality alert you will accept yourself alike if aggregate goes wrong. This is the high duke you charge to have. Not the power. Actuality alert is a connected process. It’s a acquirements action for the parent. Don’t get too agitated abroad by civic pressure. Your aim should be to accession a assured and absolute adult,” he concluded.
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